You might think I can cook given I work for a food and drink PR consultancy. Well you’d be wrong.

I have one dish. I developed that out of necessity whilst living on the Guinean border in Sierra Leone for a couple of years trying to turn ex-rebels into soldiers. Based on the food is energy theory and the availability of fowl with a modicum of flesh, it was never a headline act. But my family flatter me when my Chicken Makeni is rolled out once again. I know the enthusiasm is based on its delivery being in close proximity to either X-Factor or Strictly Come Dancing (yeah – I’d rather be cooking but didn’t Darcey do well). The respite it gives them from cobbling together the Saturday evening nosh.

So I set myself a target. The aim being to get their attention and produce something that can be turned out at a dinner party and generate the enthusiastic response Greg and Michel cough up when digging into an inspiring offering from a finalist on Professional Masterchef. I wanted a dish that was self-assured and freewheeling. A mother of all dishes.

For this I called up the Leith’s Cookery Bible, which smacks of culinary authority and turned to page 421. Peppered Venison Steak. Honestly it couldn’t be easier. And when there are only seven stages, one of which is ‘ boil up the sauce again’ I thought I’d hit a winner. I couldn’t have imagined how such a fantastic dish could be so easily produced. Nor how much fun one has (another stage is the pyrotechnic explosion when lighting the brandy – WHOOPS A DAISY where’s the dog gone?). I’ve created this using Donald Russell meat and it’s sublime. ‘Created’ implies artistic input but really Prue and Caroline are such consummate story tellers it merely needs a slavish adherence to their very clear direction and you’re in with a chance at the final.

I’ll allow myself to go ‘off piste’ once I’ve concocted it sufficiently well to see real satisfaction and not the glee of an uninterrupted Cowell-fest.

PS
All my growing bravado went to nothing when I tried this with pork. Disaster.
But at least the dog was back which was useful. He’s never been picky.

Simon